This is Maira. She’s beautiful, right?
She doesn’t see it. Not in the, ‘she thinks she’s a bit ugly but she still takes pictures of herself, so she can’t think she’s that ugly.’ But in the ‘she has an eating disorder. The hate she has for herself flows through every fiber of her being.’ So why does she take photos of herself or allow photos of herself to be taken by others, you may ask? Because having an eating disorder makes you all the more obsessed with your image. People suffering either completely avoid seeing themselves by any means possible, or they analyze themselves every second of every day. Taking pictures of oneself is a form of analyzing oneself. Maira sits infront of the computer, looking at pictures of herself, and criticizing, just as she would in front of a mirror in the privacy of her own room.
I started following her a good few months ago whilst entrenched in my eating disorder behaviors and mind-set.
It’s kinda crazy how you can follow someone’s ups and downs via the internet, and feel a connection with them; genuinely care about them.
I care about Maira. I may not know her in real life, but that doesn’t make my care any less sincere, does it?
I don’t particularly know why I’m writing a post on her.
I guess I saw this photo, and at first glance you - like me - will probably think, ‘Wow. She’s beautiful’. But when Maira looks at this? She’ll pick out every flaw she sees - real or not.
I guess I want us to take a moment to pray. To pray for every girl and every boy right now that is suffering from an eating disorder, is recovering from an eating disorder, and is in the beginning stages of developing one. Unless you’ve suffered from one yourself, you will never be able to fully understand them. Unless you’ve suffered from one yourself, you’ll look at this photo and tell yourself Maira doesn’t hate herself that much. She couldn’t possibly. But she does, because her anorexia has clouded her vision, her bpd and anorexia have distorted her mind so much, she doesn’t see herself as we see her.Again, I’m feeling like this post may be a little odd… Or not really have any specific meaning. I just… hurt. My heart hurts when I see photos of girls like Maira that are evidently so beautiful in their own way, and yet their anorexia and other mental illnesses are keeping them in this dark hole. They’re unable to live their lives to the full. They push people away even though they need and want nothing more than to just be held. They lie and say they’re okay, whilst inside they’re screaming, “Please help me”.
I just think we need to pray, you guys.
Will you pray with me?
Pray for Maira. Pray for everyone that is suffering with an eating disorder. Pray for everyone in the process of recovery right now. Pray for everyone recovered. Pray for those that are close to slipping into the grips of this hell.
Eating disorders are too often taboo subjects, because silence and lying is such a big part of it for the sufferers. If there’s nothing else we can do, we can pray. Don’t underestimate what prayer can do. Never underestimate it. Remember who you’re praying to; the One who restored vision to the blind, healed the sick, commanded the paralyzed to get up and walk. He can and WILL deliver those that are suffering from eating disorders. All we have to do is pray that He opens up their hearts to that healing and embrace that path of recovery.Please, pray.
It’s the least we can do.You are so sweet, my dear ♥
Love you forever!
